Ramblings From A Broken Heart

Sheesh, it sure has been awhile since I have written on here, but with everything going on in life right now I feel like I don't even have time to sleep.

My life is anything where it should be at my age, considering I have a 10 month old daughter and to be honest I beat myself up everyday about it because I feel like a horrible mother at times. Just the fact of knowing that I am struggling this much right now breaks my heart because I promised my Princess ~ when she was still in my belly ~ that Mommy would give her the life she deserves nd we would not struggle.

I am failing. :/

I don't want pity. I am not looking for pity. My life is the way it is right now because of decisions made. It is nones fault but my own. I am trying to get us back on track. I have been looking for a 2nd job, applying anywhere and everywhere online or in person everyday. I am praying that God opens a door for me soon because this rut is getting harder and harder to get out of.

I want to give my baby an A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. first Christmas. I want to have her 1st Birthday in our Home. I want to start traditions that she will grow up remembering.

Most importantly I want our family to have a place of our own again; however, I do appreciate all the help that has been given to us.

Many people may not understand why I choose to stay in my relationship because from what everyone see's and may have heard me say it is anything but easy and has been very unhealthy. I believe that everything happens for a reason, and I do not believe on giving up on someone I care so much about. 

Neither of us are perfect, and the stress we had on our shoulders was overbearing for the both of us. Sure, everyone has bills and stress, but with the health problems added in and my little income we couldn't keep above water.

So before anyone has an opinion, don't judge me or my decisions unless you know what is in my heart.

Life isn't easy, but is it for anyone?

Regardless of where I am in life, none can disagree with the fact that...

I Love My Princess More Then Life Itself.

It Literally Brings Tears To My Eyes Just Looking At My Princess Nd How Much She Has Grown In Her Short 10 Months Of Life ~ Oh How Time Flies, But With Each Passing Second I Love Her A Little More. She Has Shown Me A Different Kind Of Love That I Would Never Trade For Anything In This World ~ Don't Grow Up Too Fast Baby Girl! ♥

t.n.t.

<3 kay <3